The end of the book always created a void, and the thoughts that are lights always accumulated there, navigated along with it for a while, settled down, and waited for the next course of action. I was lying there, not sure what happened. I heard crowds murmuring, and the flowers being poured over me and stuff. The darkness was still dominant and a faint memory lurked here and there. This sounded familiar to me, and yet I could feel the hatred. Who are these people anyway? I was left under the thatch and given food two times a day. Later, when I woke up on the street, my heart ached. I wasn’t hungry, yet I couldn’t sit up or realise a thing. It was too bright all of a sudden. I rolled left and right, and it was good. I could see only the blue sky above, and my dehydrated lips seeking a grey cloud to pour over me. My hair was thick, and my clothes were dirty and smelly. I was not sure where I was and my last memories were under the thatch, having food for the afternoon. And here I was under the bright sunny morning. Someone threw some coins around me. I realised I was begging for some time, and I should let my body and mind continue, and I didn’t remember how it all happened and stuff. With partial realisation, I grabbed the bag, twisted it with the bedspread, and it was too heavy to take as a beggar. I left it there. I was walking barefoot, and my unshaven beard was so sticky and the sweat was doing some strange composition. As I was taking a few steps, suddenly blackness, with firecrackers in the dark sky, and people were celebrating New Year’s Eve; the dogs got scared and ran for their lives. The birds were frightened too and hoped for the night to be done, for a normal day and night. I was like a log there, and someone sprayed water on my face, held my head, and gave me a bottle of water. It was so soothing, and at that moment all the darkness disappeared; the dog and the bird were back to normal. It was like fast-forwarding to skip all the bad stuff and stuff. I could hear a voice inquiring about me. I stayed there, silent. Nothing came to my mind to reply, and I didn’t have the strength to open my mouth. Time passed, and I was left there with strength, not sure how. It was dusk, and I realised I was a beggar, trying to stand again, and I was clueless where I left my belongings. I went through the streets, and people were slowly gathering, as if they were released from a prison, and the red dunes were becoming dark, and the street shops were decorated with bright lights. I started begging at those shops and houses that were placed between the patterns. Most people looked at me pathetically. I didn’t care. But I was not like this before. At times, when people refused to give stuff, and if I was in a frenzy, I tried to snatch it from them forcefully, or sometimes behaved rudely and frightened them, for a time meal. It all happened unconsciously; I wondered where the strength came from, where I hadn’t eaten for days. Somehow I got food to eat, and I acted like a madman. I know my limit is that they let me leave after I get my food. And stuff like that. I went to the dunes. I know this place. I used to go and pluck almonds, open the shell, and taste them. I liked the almond tree. It was fenced and I felt like it was home. I set up a tree house and slept the night there, mostly unslept, thinking nothing, yet sometimes brooding over the past — how rude I was, how I hurt my sons and daughters, and stuff, and no one was with me to share the tree house. I want to see my daughter before I die. I heard the nightly noise of different birds and random motor honks, and I wished to get rid of these people and stay in silence to have my sleep. But I couldn’t. I’m like a domesticated animal who seeks survival in and around man’s community. I can’t survive in the forest like a rat. He can survive anywhere; I have no guts like him. I’m a coward; I only knew how to live when I was an adult. As I aged, I feared and sought dependency. “Seek and you shall receive” is a lie. I didn’t sleep much. And I felt the faint smell again. I don’t like it. The drums played there, and people cried. For God’s sake, why can’t you allow me to sleep? I’m not a madman anymore; leave me at peace, I said. No one listened. As time went, more people came, and the same wailing. It made me uncomfortable. Suddenly, I was put on a nice bed — decorated — but I had the smell of flowers anyway. Why can’t they remove it? I said it loud and clear, yet they didn’t listen to me. Why should they? Did I ever listen to them? I never listened to my children. I simply said some stuff to skip the conversation, yet they had it in their mind, and I was like, when did I say that, and so on and on. I skipped this nonsense. As I hadn’t slept all night, I was closing my eyes and listening to the other stuff; it was mainly filled with people’s chaos. I stopped hearing them. They took my bed. It was a procession, and people were taking me to the dunes. I was seeing firecrackers again. I insisted they stop, that the dogs and the birds were frightened, but no one listened. I let them do it anyway. I was too weak to speak after that. I stayed there, doing nothing, letting them do whatever they wanted, and it felt good — like a log on the river, just flowing on the street and stuff. I had been eating my afternoon food in my hut, and now I was a log on the street and stuff. Slowly they were taking me out of the town, and those people who fed me were watching, pathetically and stuff. I still remember that madness. I was apologising mutely as I didn’t have the strength to open my mouth. There, the dunes made the journey hard and the swing was like a baby lullaby, how my mother used to make me sleep over the almond tree. Though I didn’t remember clearly, I still could feel it. It was like that; I was lullabied by a bunch of people. Slowly, I was brought to the same almond tree where I was lullabied. I was watching everyone, like I watched my mother, with excitement and a smile, and as a return she smiled back at me that elevated the excitement twofold. I felt the same way. I was dropped into the earth, and I was watching them smiling, but I got a cry in return. It became dark and I slept nice and sound there under the almond tree where I had spent sleepless nights in my tree house.