And why is it always jealousy on depreciation. Sometimes I think that there exists a situation where even the doing of people seems to be a promotion that was unofficially made without their consciousness. And one such stuff is buying a car, house, a mobile, bike, etc. They majorly reveal this in a way that, for some reason, at least one among their circle would be buying this, when they weren’t in a thought of it so. And it again gains the company rather than you, as all these get money from you. I don’t see people revealing the stuff like investment, appreciation strategy, a business plan, and stuff. As if it got revealed, then it would trigger the views to be more productive using their stuff and level up higher than them. Doesn’t it look ugly. Thaan petram inbam vaiyagam peravendum was the saying, but people say this, when their stuff which caused their sadness, sarcastically, and smile at others’ hardship.
He was happily married, his front teeth bright and yellow. His wife died. He was sad. His second marriage was even pleasant, his front teeth bright and yellow again. His second wife was admitted for stroke. He was mentally affected. He died. His second wife died.

He got married, had sons and a daughter, they settled abroad, their mother died, their father married another woman, they stopped talking to their father.

And it takes time.

The landscape hits different on the glass reflection. Within the two talls, there it goes, the S-shaped road to heaven and hell. It wobbles when you go there. You should be careful. And once you pass it, it is a slope, and you feel the chill wind in your hair. You feel the bliss until you are sucked into the subway. It was dark and digging deep. It is slowly crawling under the city. Slowly sucking out those hard rocks. And now, they put a train onto it. People can travel to heaven or hell through it. It’s cheap and can reach soon. It stops at the dead end. One has to drop down to reach the road. It is a junction, and always chaotic. The zebra crossing is for namesake. Can be killed quickly if we miss being quick. What a loneliness over the mountain. And the keys were lost at the backyard. I was searching for an hour. It’s lost. I left the mountain and loneliness to the ocean. It sucked my soul and left me alone there. I’m still searching for my soul out there. No matter how bad we are, there is always time to restart. So I moved and restarted my life without the soul. I left searching, too. It is good to be without soul. I once saw a guy, sitting on the floor, unable to move, and his chin got hit on the ground, and the floor filled with a whole lot of blood. I left him there. I don’t have soul to sympathise with him. As I left the spot, I felt guilty, I went back and enquired him, he is high on alcohol, and was smiling at me. I left my soul again there and roamed the night without the soul. It goes like that. And what a pity people are. He gave me money, for not being able to cheat on me. I spoiled his pride, you know. I got the reward. I said no. I don’t want a reward, that I’m not doing it for reward. Then I got back my reward, in exchange for my soul. I was roaring the evening without my soul. It’s nice to be without the soul, you know. I can be rude. I can be naked. I can be free. I can sit upside down and can get hurt. I can roll over the road. I can swim on the ditch. I can beat the filthy capitalist. I can feel the warmth of the morning sun. I can run and chase the dog. I can eat bread, and tea. I can do whatever I want. I can do all these without my soul also. But without soul, it hits me different. I can be without soul. It goes like that, you know. And you asked me question, I did answer. But now I’m hating that, why did I answer you. It goes on and on like that.

Caught in between. It was built these many years, just to destroy them. What the heck is that, man. He was so loud and talking on phone always, working on a client related to convert the household meter to smart one. Everything now is added up to smart, that makes people lazy. What a smart idea. In the name of smartness, we completely ignore nature, and join hands with human invention and go like a goat there. I love goats. The male especially. Their horns, his smell, rudeness, always keeps his face frowning, not suitable to smile, and we sometimes see each other, and keep our face rugged. I miss my Mani. We used to keep a goat, called with the name, the rituals it takes in the evening, roam, fed him, and take back to the home. I still remember his face. But not sure what happened to him. I don’t want to dig deep into it. We love to eat. That is still haunting, man. I’m lost and it is useless being a human, and just watching over the event. Man.

I just booked the return ticket to Chennai. Via train. Haven’t been before on the train and stuff. And that’s it, nothing to jot here. And once you are high on jotting, jot for more time and stuff. Because, the other time, I write rubbish. I don’t know what to write, but just wanted to write. I scribbled a lot today. I like to write with paper and pen, and here typing as well. Double slash? Remember to be with Double slash. It makes you aware. Focus in between your eyebrows. For some, when the two brows are trying to connect, it forms a line, for me it is double slash. And the hard thing is that, remembering to be with the double slash is the challenging one. I easily get distracted and forget things. And one has to be, the self, dig deep, bring on the effort to settle there, to avoid the wobble and stuff. It was there before, I remember, and why all of a sudden it becomes too complex.

Ah, it was a bad behaviour of me. I shouldn’t have done that. I just ordered a biriyani, and before it came, I just ran out, for a work-related call. They called for an urgent matter, and post that, came to know that it is trash. My wife was in anger, after hearing this. She doesn’t like to leave eating for a sake for anything, especially, for work. I knew, but somehow, it was too early for me to wrap up the work, and came to the restaurant. That is the catch there, else would have ignored and have done with my eating there. But that’s fine.

The place is always filled with work people. It is like, they were waiting for their work to get completed, and gather around the tea shop, sip some, and light a cigarette and smoke like an old cooker. And when you are caught in the middle sipping your nice tea, a lady just puffed over my face. I looked at her, and she looked at me, and I turned over, she too turned over. This time, she puffed down. I got back my soul there.

The room which I currently stay is a corner one. Has two windows. First time ever, I felt the importance of windows. It just releases the stuckness. If you are caught in between two large hands, crushing you, and suddenly there exist two windows in the middle of both the hands, you can feel the relief there. And I kind of felt the same. The people there are tidy. They don’t want to spill stuff, tuck their bedspread, keep the shoes proper, and talk slowly and stuff. I too was doing the same stuff for the past few days. I’m glad. The room is good. I think we were discussing on the prepaid meter charge. Morning, I don’t see the heater turned on. Why didn’t I tell them? I was ignorant. Just watching and waiting for the stuff to happen. I was like this long back, but not recently, and I’m glad that I’m back. I don’t care. Maybe I care when I go back now to the room, and by seeing that there is no fan and light, I might start to enquire, and promote them with my wisdom about the prepaid recharge and stuff, the conversation will go on like that. And like that, we were talking that day, I forgot his name though, and it is all about the work stuff. No matter how good at sorting you are, they put you to work something else, force you, and convince you. His pay was less. He lost 10 kg from 80, abstaining alcohol, tea, coffee and stuff like that. At least he can save some money over there. During my Chennai stay, a guy, bulk, round, and intellect guy, whose aspiration was to become a director, failed, and tells us the story of his days, where he used to go every day to the production house, nothing in his pocket, lived with tea and cigarettes, and I say why can’t you have an idli and stuff with that money, and stuff goes like that, you know. It was like that, people are ponies. Including me. Double slash.